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Find The River

Hey now, little speedy head, the read on the speed meter says you have to go to task in the city where people drown and people serve. Don't be shy; your just deserve is only just light years to go.

Me, my thoughts are flower strewn, ocean storm, bayberry moon. I have got to leave to find my way. Watch the road and memorize this life that pass before my eyes. Nothing is going my way.

The ocean is the river's goal, a need to leave the water knows. We're closer now than light years to go.

I have got to find the river, bergamot and vetiver run through my head and fall away. Leave the road and memorize this life that pass before my eyes. Nothing is going my way.

There's no one left to take the lead, but I tell you and you can see we're closer now than light years to go. Pick up here and chase the ride. The river empties to the tide. Fall into the ocean.

The river to the ocean goes, a fortune for the undertow. None of this is going my way. There is nothing left to throw of Ginger, lemon, indigo, coriander stem and rose of hay. Strength and courage overrides the privileged and weary eyes of river poet search naivete. Pick up here and chase the ride. The river empties to the tide. All of this is coming your way.

I took a nap and had Automatic for the People playing while I slept. I woke up before the album was over and this song came on. I can't place my finger on why this song is amazing, but it is. The lyrics ring true to me. I feel connected to it, somehow. It has been playing on repeat for the past 20 minutes or so now.

I am stuck. I don't feel as though I have control of my life anymore. I am nothing but the whim of others. I don't know what I'm looking for and I don't know if I'll find it. I keep asking myself "where has my happiness gone?"

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
bakatenshi
May. 29th, 2002 11:09 pm (UTC)
*hug*

(I wish I had something worth saying, but I'm too out of breath, running from my own problems.. =\)

music is amazing sometimes. amazing can turn both ways.
every left has a right and bad it's good. yadda yadda and all that jazz....

*more hugs*
patrick
May. 29th, 2002 11:26 pm (UTC)
thanks alex. general comfort from others is a nice thing.
carrieann
May. 29th, 2002 11:17 pm (UTC)
we look before and after
and pine for what is not
our sincerest laughter
with some pain is fraught
our sweetest songs are those
that tell of saddest thought.
-- p.b. shelley


I hope you find your happiness again, Patrick.
patrick
May. 29th, 2002 11:27 pm (UTC)
I'm sure I put it somewhere around here.
carrieann
May. 30th, 2002 12:35 am (UTC)
I will post "If you find me, please return to owner" flyers.
patrick
May. 30th, 2002 12:36 am (UTC)
hehe. Thanks. I'll look under my bed and in the closet.
carrieann
May. 30th, 2002 10:24 am (UTC)
Personally, I think they need to equip such things
with tracking devices, or at least make them like
those key locating doohickeys that 'answer' when
you whistle. Don't you agree? Would make all of
this finding business much more simple.
quent
May. 29th, 2002 11:47 pm (UTC)
Dude.
Late night shittiness: if you need someone to talk to, you can call me. 206.650.0848.
I know often how you feel.

Maybe we can go out to coffee sometime if you want. We don't hang enough.
patrick
May. 29th, 2002 11:59 pm (UTC)
Re: Dude.
yea, i totally agree.
massivehabit
May. 30th, 2002 02:22 am (UTC)
Rad!
That's my favorite REM song along with Nigthswimming, Electrolite, and well, every other REM song. I am sorry you feel the way you do. I don't know you too well but hey, I'm a nice guy who will try to make you feel happy. Read the book Siddhartha. That song reminds me of it, and it is a very uplifting book!!!!
patrick
May. 30th, 2002 02:45 am (UTC)
Re: Rad!
Favorite R.E.M. songs are as follows (in no particular order):
Find the River
Perfect Circle
Fall on Me

There are more, of course, but these are the first three that came to mind.

Don't really mind me, I'm just in a slump and hopefully will get myself out soon. I'm feeling alright right now.
trisloth
May. 30th, 2002 07:40 am (UTC)

something my gf did when i was in a slump:

"If God said you *have* to do smile in the next five minutes, or you die, what are ten things that make you smile?"

that's sort of extreme, but the point is to list ten very simple things that make you happy (like czech beer or climbing a tree or the movie Repo Man or something...) and then go fucking DO one or more of them fer chrissakes!

like, for instance, i'm listening to all early-90's indie-rock and grunge today, and goddammit, that makes me happy.

hope you feel better!
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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