patr0ck

Right now, at this very moment, I am feeling depressed. I'm not sure what brought this feeling on, but I think it may just be due to the general situation I am in with my life. I am really discontent. I am going no where fast. I do not have a job and I'm not pushing myself hard enough to get one. I am not doing very well in school. I am very unhappy with my performance and I feel there is no justification for this. I am fairly happy with my relationships with my friends, but there are people I wish I could spend more time with. I feel like I am headed for destruction and in the end, I will disappoint everyone.

I have already disappointed myself.

On a lighter note, today was pretty good. I went to the seattle locks with ashley for a while. We watched fish swim around, water go up and down, we made jokes and laughed about a great many things. There was also Karen's birthday party which started at Golden Gardens. There was frisbee played where I was commited to proving just how hardcore I really am and was going all out. There is still sand in my underwear and hair. It started raining after a while, though, so we headed back to Marie's house to cook food and play games. The good times kept going on until near midnight when everyone that was left decided it was time to go cause we were tired. I took ashley back home and now it's just about time for me to crash in the bed now.

just updated to the latest cvs version of logjam. evan, it looks very pretty. :)
I'm also updating my computers a bit more. navi is now using ext3 (finally) and arisu should be using it soon. just recompiling the kernel and then everything will be happy *crosses fingers*

Yea, I should really just go to sleep. I tend to put it off too much.

my car is like my own personal universe
she's my drug and it only takes twelve bucks to fill 'er up
but in my galaxy there ain't no room for Earth
so I'm leavin it cuz I can feel the oil pressure building up
turning over the ignition of my solar system
check the gauges, pushin the tape, put my foot on the break
shift existance like my cigarette
and take it state to state until I crash into my fate

I got up and went to aerobics today. But I only had about three hours of sleep last night and am feeling very tired. Maybe if I just take a short nap right now....

So that nap I took after aerobics turned into a 6 hour nap. Go me.

I haven't eaten anything all day. I have drank about 48 ounces of water, though. pro_anorexia would be proud. But since dante's is tonight, I really should eat something before heading out.

I am in dire need of conversation. Reading webpages and online chat sessions are not doing it for me right now.

Going to the bar will help this situation, I think.