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I'm still in a state of shock about the whole thing. It was nice to see my friends yesterday for a short time, but I'm definitely going to need to be around more people this week. I had met Jeremy two or three times, strictly through parties, and had maybe met Deacon once but had heard of him by reputation more than anything else. These are people in the same social circle I am in. It could have been people that I know more personally. Never before have I felt so personally affected by random senseless violence. Never before have I cried because of grief.

The past six months of my life have been a waste of time and I regret this.


( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 28th, 2006 05:02 pm (UTC)
I feel the same way, I am not handling this very well, and feeling lonely and depressed like I never knew I would react. (And I didn't know anyone involved..it's just my 'hood, you know, Seattle...doesn't DO this to eachother.)

But don't regret anything, just learn and move forward.

Oh and I still have that big screen TV, and I still love to go out for beers. :)
Mar. 28th, 2006 08:13 pm (UTC)
It's better to regret the things you have done, than to regret the things you haven't done. Right now, I'm regreting things I haven't done.

Of course, the easy answer to this is to start doing things.

We got to make it happen! :)
Mar. 28th, 2006 06:31 pm (UTC)
Don't feel bad about looking inward during this. I am handling it in the same way (as are a few other people) and it is just how we as people handle grief. There are so many people in our friends circle that there is space for all kinds of healing and grieving styles, and our friends are surrounded by hugs and kindness, and have a safe place to stay right now.

Also, think of it this way. The people who are no longer with us wouldn't want us to completely give up and grief out forever - they would want us to take all this as an excuse to live life even harder, for ourselves and in their memories.

Just remember to give out hugs to those who are still with us when you can, and that is all you need to do, and all they need.
Mar. 28th, 2006 08:17 pm (UTC)
Yes, exactly. I'm not letting it slow me down. It's a reason to look forward to living.

If anything, I think I can take this and motivate myself to live better.
( 4 comments — Leave a comment )


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