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Merry Christmas

My Mom just told me that I'm going to get a big surprise when I die and end up in hell! Woo, Merry Christmas!

It's funny how much the media talks about mistletoe as one of the christmas traditions, but honestly, I don't think I've ever seen any at a christmas party or been kissed underneath it or anything. Slightly left out maybe, but I never even thought of it as a big part of christmas.



( 22 comments — Leave a comment )
Dec. 25th, 2005 06:33 pm (UTC)
Going to hell?
wow, nice mom.
I'll save you a spot in my handbasket ;)

Mistletoe is poisonous which might explain why you dont see much LIVE plant around.
The fake stuff can be bought just about anywhere fine products are sold:
walgreens, wallyworld, tarjay, kmarche, freds, and more LOL

Dec. 25th, 2005 06:40 pm (UTC)
I told her that she would be surprised when she dies and finds out the mormons were right and she was wrong. She gave me an evil look that told me I went too far. You can't argue with that woman!

Christmas is a holiday with a crap load of strange traditions that don't make any sense. Cutting down a tree, putting it in your house and hanging crap on it? Telling children that a creepy old man will break into the house and leave toys for them? The mixing of that with the strange Jesus legend?
It all sounds pretty batty to me. Mistletoe is just another strange tradition, that mostly seemed to be ignored by the people I grew up with.
Dec. 25th, 2005 06:55 pm (UTC)
I just put mistletoe in my back pocket.
Dec. 25th, 2005 07:17 pm (UTC)
you mean you didn't make a belt and hang it from the front?
Dec. 25th, 2005 08:23 pm (UTC)
by back pocket you mean ass pocket, right?
Dec. 25th, 2005 08:25 pm (UTC)
Yes, that's the idea.
Dec. 25th, 2005 10:07 pm (UTC)
Rim jobs are a time honored christmas tradition!
Dec. 25th, 2005 10:13 pm (UTC)
A gay in the manger!
Dec. 25th, 2005 06:56 pm (UTC)
I got the same speech from my mom last Christmas.

I never got mistletoe either. It's a parasitic and ugly plant -- I'm not sure how that's supposed to inspire makeouts.
Dec. 25th, 2005 07:00 pm (UTC)
More to the point, why the fuck do you need a sprig of ugly greenery to make out with somebody?
Dec. 25th, 2005 07:02 pm (UTC)
Seriously. That's what whiskey is for.
Dec. 25th, 2005 07:03 pm (UTC)
And roofies.
Dec. 25th, 2005 07:16 pm (UTC)
roofies don't really help with kissing. you're thinking of date rape. Hope this helps. Have a nice day.
Dec. 25th, 2005 07:34 pm (UTC)
Oh yeah.
Dec. 25th, 2005 08:06 pm (UTC)
Aww, Patrick. Merry Xmas! Sorry your mom is a weirdo. I hope that wasn't your gift from her!
Dec. 25th, 2005 10:12 pm (UTC)
Happy Xmas to you too!
My mother is often crass without even realizing it. She tells me these because she cares and I'm sure it tears her up inside to think about how she will be in Heaven and her children won't be there to share it with her.
Dec. 25th, 2005 08:29 pm (UTC)
my mom just bought a generator to go with her stockpiles of food and water cuz END DAYS are coming. shhh, don't tell Grandpa--she owes him money.
Dec. 25th, 2005 10:10 pm (UTC)
I can't wait for the end times! It will be a nonstop party, just like in that second matrix movie.
Dec. 25th, 2005 11:08 pm (UTC)
as long as the christians get raptured the hell out of our way
Dec. 25th, 2005 10:06 pm (UTC)

4. Mistletoe Kissing Remember the following Norse fable the next time you sneak a smooch under the mistletoe: Frigga, goddess of love and beauty, wanted to make the world safe for her son, Balder. Everything on earth promised to do him no harm except the one plant Frigga overlooked, mistletoe. Loki, an evil spirit, made an arrow from the mistletoe's wood and killed Balder. Frigga's tears became the plant's white berries and revived her son. In her gratitude, Frigga promised to kiss anyone who passed under the mistletoe, just as we do today.
Dec. 25th, 2005 10:09 pm (UTC)
But what does it have to do with christmas?
Hah, I actually just found this link and had read it myself! Strange timing there.
Dec. 25th, 2005 10:13 pm (UTC)
Re: But what does it have to do with christmas?
i think Balder was also born at this time of the year. i don't recall. more overlapping pagan holidays that christians adopted.
( 22 comments — Leave a comment )


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