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let's all laugh at patrick's expense

On saturday night, I had just gotten home from going out to see the movie
'jersey girl', which I enjoyed, btw. I came into my bedroom and joined in
with jared in playing super smash bros melee, which I just recently got for
my gamecube. I sat down on this little wooden stool that belonged to aiden
and started to play the game. After a bit of time, one of the stools legs
broken and the chair colapsed underneath me. As I fell down, the leg that
broke came into position and ended up stabbing me in the ass. The chair's
aim was really good, too. I laid on the floor in pain for a little bit,
until jared helped me get up. I was really dizzy and went to go lay down on
my bed when jared noticed that my pants had a hole in them from the

Once the pain started to fade a little bit, I got up and went into the
bathroom and cleaned myself up. There was a bit of blood and there was
piece of wood about half an inch long stuck in my butt. I cleaned myself up
and changed my pants, but any sort of plans i had for the next day I didn't
do because my butt hurt (and it still does, but it's managable now).

Man, this chair at work is so uncomfortable and that doesn't make anything
any easier. I told the story to my coworkers and everyone has had a good
laugh. Ain't life grand?


( 17 comments — Leave a comment )
Apr. 6th, 2004 01:58 pm (UTC)
are you sure you didn't get roophyed by jarred and these are the events he told you had happened? i don't know this feller, but i'd stay away from any drinks he gives you from now on.
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:05 pm (UTC)
well, i don't remember him giving me any drinks at the time, but i think it's better to be safe then sorry.
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:12 pm (UTC)
that has to be one of the saddest, funniest things I've read in quite some time. it's even more funny when I think back to brenna telling us why you weren't coming saturday, and us spending the rest of the night making "patrick has a chair up his ass" jokes. sorry it turned out to be so true.

I think you should go get a hooker to rub ice cubes on your anus. that'd be hot.
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:28 pm (UTC)
it took a lot just to call and try to explain what happened. oh my god, this whole thing is so embarrassing. at least I can handle it with humor. i think about it and it makes me giggle still because the whole situation is pretty funny, if you can just take a step back and look at it without thinking that it's causing me pain.
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
I bet everyone gets you donuts for your next b-day.
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:59 pm (UTC)
my coworkers have been making donut jokes.
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:23 pm (UTC)
I'd offer to rub it for you, but, well, yeah.
Ouch. No laughing here. I'm sorry you hurt your bum.
Apr. 6th, 2004 02:45 pm (UTC)
It's the thought that counts
It's alright to laugh, actually. I am trying to take the whole experience with a sense of humor because it will make it that much easier.

you've got to admit, it is pretty funny. Having a chair break under me and then the chair stabs me in the butt and it gets a bullseye, too.
Apr. 6th, 2004 03:03 pm (UTC)
OK, I'll *think* about rubbing your bum. Hee!
Yeah, I suppose so. Talk about adding insult to injury. [Or vise versa, I suppose?] I admit, I giggled a little, but then the sympathetic side kicked in with, "Aww, poor Patrick!!" Sounds like the graceful sort of thing I'd do. Kind of like when I was working at Apple and sitting at my station in the computer lab. Bent down to pick something up and my chair rolled out from under me causing me to fall forward, and then flat on my back. Of course I made sure to do this right when there was a group of new employees taking a tour through the lab, too. I laugh about it now, but man, at the time I wanted to crawl under my desk and die. :D
Apr. 6th, 2004 03:16 pm (UTC)
When something like this happens at work, it's the worst!
Oh, there was this one time, back when I was working for Party for less. I had a pair of slacks that I was wearing and I think they might have been a little bit tight at the waist. I was doing something, I can't remember what exactly, but I bent over and heard a big rip noise. There was several coworkers around me and there was no way I could have hidden it. I ended up having to call home and ask my dad to bring me a new pair of pants and of course everyone got to make fun of me for ripping the back of my pants.
Apr. 6th, 2004 03:25 pm (UTC)
At least you don't have hemerrhoids.
Apr. 6th, 2004 04:16 pm (UTC)
At least I'm not dead!
True, we could always just look at it that way.
Apr. 6th, 2004 03:30 pm (UTC)
that's horrible! keep tabs on the wound, though. you wouldn't want to get an infection there.

(this totally reminds me of the "assman" seinfeld episode)
Apr. 6th, 2004 04:05 pm (UTC)
I've been doing my best to keep everything clean and I did wash it pretty quickly after it happened. it stopped bleeding pretty quickly so I'm hoping that I won't have any lasting problems.
Apr. 7th, 2004 09:08 pm (UTC)
holy shit!!!!
what a crazy thing to happen!
remember that time we ate doughnuts at like 4 in the morning and you broke one of the tables?
i think it's the furniture-breaking curse you have...
i hope yr ass gits better!:)
Apr. 9th, 2004 05:12 pm (UTC)
I have an ongoing feud with furniture for sure. They don't like me and I don't like them.
I'm actually feeling much better now. very little soreness at all.
Apr. 10th, 2004 10:09 am (UTC)
( 17 comments — Leave a comment )


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