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Internet Dating

I've been thinking about dating alot recently. Comparing it with my history and experience verse some of the examples I see in the media, as well as with friends. To be honest, it's not terribly impressive, and I seem to be regreting that right now. I've always been very shy in most social situations when I am crushing on someone, or even if I'm around a really pretty girl. It doesn't help that I'm a fairly passive and quiet person anyways, for the most part. So when I do manage to pull up the nerve to ask a girl out or maybe I catch the eye of that random girl and she asks me out, I try to at least make those first impressions good.

Now, one of those fads that seems to be catching my eye right now is internet dating. A friend of mine, in an attempt to shut up my whining about not having anyone to date, got me to make an account on the website match.com. My first thought was "Why the hell do I need to use a 'dating site' to meet people?" I mean, there are those free sites where people are basically using it as a dating site only using different words. friendster, tribe, orkut, these are all great sites which I have a membership to, plus there is livejournal itself, which tons of people have used to hook up with people, myself included. So why would I need to use match.com? After several months of playing around on it, I'm not so sure. I haven't had anymore luck with that site. Of course, I never actually spent money on it, but in theory you can meet someone on there without paying, right?

While searching through match.com, one cute girl mentions that she never actually checks match.com for responses. Instead, she perfers the website love3k. I like following links and I had not heard of this website before so I checked it out. They offer something like a 3 day trial and then they ask for money. And it's not very cheap, either. This site cost $16 a month to be able to use at all after the 3 day trial. I see that and scoff, saying "how can a dating website prove itself in three days?" I'm still saying that and it's part of the reason I'm writing this.

Anyways, I join the site and within about 5 hours of joining, I get a message from a random girl. I'm surprised by the fact that I get a message so quickly, although the email that I actually received had a single line and was grammerically incorrect. Willing to forgive such nonsense, since I obviously am not a genius at spelling nor grammer myself, I write back and we have a short message conversation, which sparks my interest a bit but was not long enough to really pull any info out of. The account expired and the conversation was cut off before anything could really have been made with that. Now they demand money for this sort of thing to go on. Plus, right after the account expired, I got another message from different girl, but since the account expired, I can't read it. That hooks me even more.

They say a fool and his money are soon parted and an easy way to find fools is through love, or at least teasing with love. I am curious to see if this dating site could prove fun, but spending money on this seems silly too. I'm looking for some advice here one what to do. So now we get a poll! Don't worry, you don't need to write anything to respond to this "essay". It's multiple choice!
Poll #245465 Internet dating

Have you ever dated someone you met on the internet?

My boyfriend/girlfriend/husband/wife/etc and I met on the internet!
12(27.3%)
I've dated a person or two from the internet.
25(56.8%)
Well, I've never really thought about it or tried, really.
4(9.1%)
Ah no thanks, only freaks and weirdos (present company excluded) are on the internet.
1(2.3%)
I'm asexual and don't like sex.
2(4.5%)

Have you ever dated someone from a free website like livejournal, friendster, etc.

Oh yea, I've gone on several friendster dates and I've dated like half my friends list!
9(21.4%)
Maybe once or twice, but I much prefer meeting people in the real world. Places like bars, or work!
19(45.2%)
What? Date someone on livejournal? Are you insane? Have you even read any of these livejournals? All these people are crazy!
14(33.3%)

Have you ever used a pay dating site like match.com or love3k.com?

I have used these many times and I am broke from having so many dates.
2(4.5%)
I've payed for a month or two, but quit fairly quickly because it wasn't working.
4(9.1%)
I've signed in for the free trials, but I'm too cheap to spend money for a matchmaker to set me up on blind dates.
23(52.3%)
I've never even visited a site like that before.
15(34.1%)

Due to the response I got from love3k.com, should I spend money and give it a try?

Why the hell not? $16 is nothing, thats dinner at a decent restaurant or a night of drinking at a bar. You won't miss it.
17(38.6%)
HELL NO! Wasting your money on that crap? Shit, give me that $16 and I'll set you up on plenty blind dates.
8(18.2%)
You don't have $16 dollars anyways, what with Final Fantasy: Crystal Chronicles coming out any day now.
19(43.2%)


I really wanted to make sure that people who answered the poll read the entry before it. It would make me happy if you did go read the entry and answer the poll, though. The more opinions and advise, the better. Pretend it's a game or something. ;)

Comments

( 40 comments — Leave a comment )
kitty_scarboro
Feb. 8th, 2004 06:46 am (UTC)
stumbled upon your entry. please excuse the random comment.

the way i think about it, using things such as friendster, match.com or whatnot for finding friends or romantic partners is in someways better than finding them in the "real world". you are finding people not by chance meetings, by proximity or by convenience but because they are genuinely interesting and you have definite interests in common. i feel like too many people have friends who exist purely out of boredom or obligation. if someone is looking for good friends and (as cheesy as it sounds) kindred spirits, i feel like we don’t have the right to be critical of whatever means they use to find them.
patrick
Feb. 8th, 2004 02:30 pm (UTC)
Re:
While I do think there stigmata around using the internet, I don't think there is anything wrong with doing it. I haven't been able to utilize most of those sites very well, but I'm thinking I want to put more effort in it.

Thanks for stopping by and leaving a comment. I always like it when people that aren't on my friends list stop by. :)
mikeprincipito
Feb. 8th, 2004 06:50 am (UTC)
Actually Patrick... Before I moved to Seattle I used to use online personals to find some dates. 4 of which stick in my mine. 2 were good and 2 were bad. 1 of the good turned out into something and I got some. So if you were me you'd have a 25% chance of getting laid from answering online personals.
patrick
Feb. 8th, 2004 01:44 pm (UTC)
Re:
haha, those odds aren't too bad, considering.
notcharming
Feb. 8th, 2004 07:12 am (UTC)
Have you ever dated someone from a free website like livejournal, friendster, etc.
I picked Hell NO but in reality its more like...
I've picked up on the net, not using a pickup site as such though... I've seen people on my friends list and I've dated people I met online in IRC. BUT! I have also dated and picked up in the REAL world (as some call it)... I think that if the $16 wont kill you (or make you eat dirt for a week cause you cant buy food) then go for it. Whats the worst that could happen...
patrick
Feb. 8th, 2004 03:29 pm (UTC)
Re:
I have done gone on a date or two because of livejournal. But then I've been on here for over three years it's become a center of my social life. So I can see that I would meet some people and try dating them at some point. But I've never tried to use it in that fashion. It's the same as meeting someone on irc. If you hang out on an irc channel for long enough, you will get to know some other people and sooner or later, you may just go out with some of them.

It's not a matter that I couldn't afford it. But in the back of my mind, that website love3k sounds like a scam.
Re: - (Anonymous) - Jan. 6th, 2005 07:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: - (Anonymous) - Jan. 16th, 2006 06:37 am (UTC) - Expand
micahellison
Feb. 8th, 2004 08:55 am (UTC)
Actually, I'm about to go on my first Internet date ... meeting some girl I bumped into on LiveJournal for coffee. So, yeah, very interesting timing, this post. =)

One cool way to meet people is to just look at, say, the friends page for uw or seattle, then leave a comment on cool people's LiveJournals telling them they're cool. Before start getting to know them a lot online (i.e. hit the "friend zone"), ask to meet them for coffee or something.

I don't know if that's an excellent strategy, but it's working thus far. And I don't know if this will turn into anything, but at the very least, she's a cool person.
patrick
Feb. 8th, 2004 03:23 pm (UTC)
Re:
That's some good idvice. I may just have to try that as well.

Good luck on your date, too.
Re: - micahellison - Feb. 8th, 2004 03:53 pm (UTC) - Expand
smallberries
Feb. 8th, 2004 11:24 am (UTC)
On the subject of internet dating
I met Jasmine in a bar, which obviously has worked out wonderfully for me. When I was single though, I met some girls at bars, but I met a lot of girls through the internet, and actually dated a girl for three years who I met on match.com. There's real no right way to meet someone in my humble opinion, and I fully support internet dating, because despite the fact that there's still somewhat of a social stigma against it (I mean, there's always been a stigma against "singles ads"), I found it to be a really good way to meet people. You get sort of a preview of a person, plus you know for certain that they're A) single and B) looking.

That's just my 2 cents. It's worked out great for me in the past, and I think it could work out great for you too, Patrick.

Also, you should check out The Stranger's personal ads online if you haven't. They tend to have some of the most interesting ones. I dated some very cool and unusual women as a result of The Stranger. :)

Good luck!
patrick
Feb. 8th, 2004 03:30 pm (UTC)
Re: On the subject of internet dating
Oh, that would be interesting. I should just start trying personal ads.
Re: On the subject of internet dating - jahnny - Feb. 16th, 2006 04:39 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: On the subject of internet dating - patrick - Feb. 16th, 2006 09:52 pm (UTC) - Expand
evan
Feb. 8th, 2004 03:05 pm (UTC)
the love3k thing sounds like a scam: set the time limit, hook you, then ask for money.
jeffr
Feb. 8th, 2004 03:16 pm (UTC)
Re:
That's what I thought. Especially since the conversation was so short and without details. I wouldn't trust it.

I met donya via livejournal though. Caroline had tried to hook us up for some time, and I didn't go for it until we started talking on lj and email.
Re: - patrick - Feb. 8th, 2004 03:24 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: - (Anonymous) - Feb. 24th, 2004 10:16 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: - (Anonymous) - Sep. 13th, 2004 05:05 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: - patrick - Sep. 13th, 2004 10:14 am (UTC) - Expand
stargirlms
Feb. 10th, 2004 11:52 am (UTC)
Dating is a funny thing, you didn't ask for advice but I'll give mine anyway
You know, the only people I've dated from online are people that my offline friends knew first and gave me their AIM SN because they insisted that I hook up with this person. It's been allright, but it takes the whole excitement out of the whole "the look, the reaction," thing. For example when you are at a bar or some place and you and a random stranger are exchanging glances and one of you finally gets up the nerve to spark a conversation. You can't really get that online. The conversation has to be REALLY good for me to overlook that. I've dated a lot and I'm pretty hot (Not to sound conceited) I have eccentric tastes so Iv'e dated a lot of guys other people consider ugly, so I look for all kinds. Take my advice the Best Five places to meet people are:

1) A Show (aka concert, what better way to find out you and someone have something in common, plus there is so much energy its hard not to get wrapped up in it. All of the relationships I have had starting at shows have been really intense and exciting and though they all ended badly, I still wouldn't give up those experiances FOR ANYTHING)

2) A coffee shop THAT ISN'T Star Bucks (note nothing wrong with Star Bucks I go there often, but you need a coffee shop with a cult following, especially one with like open mic. night or other themed events. People wired on caffine, are always quick to get into conversation and thats how interest begins right?)

3) The Rocky Horror Picture show (All different kinds of people go to Rocky and more than likely, whoever you are, you will be SOMEONE's type)

4) A Bar (because at the very least you'll get a free drink or some attention because you bought someone a free drink)

5) An aquaintance's party (this is a good one, if someone you only kind of know is having a party GO! Chances are you won't know many people, it is a great way to GET TO KNOW people, including the person who invited you. At the very least you will get at least one interesting drunken story to share on lj)

And just for kicks the top five places not to meet people from:

1) School (this begins a pattern of ditching class and chaos NOT GOOD)

2) Work (the same situation)

3) Church (for obvious reasons)

4) Traffic school (just trust me on this one)

5) D & D, The Vampire Masquerade, Robotech or any other RPG (People who partake in these activites are NEVER Satisfied with reality)
patrick
Feb. 18th, 2004 12:24 am (UTC)
I realize I didn't respond to this...
I can see myself making use of a coffee shop, as there are several very near my house. I always want to use bars as a meeting place for new people, but I seem to be unable to get that starting conversation going. I think I need to sit at the bar near the bartender more. That's an easy place to start conversations with people.

I also found your comment about people who LARP quite amusing. I've actually tried to get into that, but I just never seemed to find the game itself interesting enough to keep coming back.
fisticuffs
Feb. 19th, 2004 07:56 pm (UTC)
this is true... and entirely dated
josh and I met on napster. no lie.
although, i was already friends with one of his bandmates, so we would have met eventually.
(Anonymous)
Jun. 16th, 2004 12:56 pm (UTC)
Love3k? Don't Bother.
Love3k is a scam site. They dupe you just as you indicated. My guess is it's a couple of college students just making some easy money. The site has no features, hardly any users, and would be a huge waste of your money. The girl who contacted you was probably a friend of the kids who started it and is just helping them to make money. My sense is there is probably something illegal about what they are doing, but you'd have to track them down first, which would not be too difficult.
(Anonymous)
Nov. 21st, 2004 05:52 pm (UTC)
Re: Love3k? Don't Bother.
Ya, I am a moron, and signed up for it and I think it is a scam too. The girls will write you everyday, I currently am writing three girls and they all write everyday unless you don't write them and they usually won't answer any questions you write them!! I searched around before I signed up but nobody had that it was a scam which is kinda a surprise. But there are hundreds of guys on there and very few girls. So ya for the most part I think there maybe a few actual true members but I still think some are part of a scam.
Re: Love3k? Don't Bother. - (Anonymous) - Dec. 16th, 2004 09:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: Love3k? Don't Bother. - (Anonymous) - Jan. 3rd, 2005 12:43 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Love3k? Don't Bother. - patrick - Jan. 3rd, 2005 01:32 am (UTC) - Expand
Re: Love3k? Don't Bother. - (Anonymous) - Apr. 17th, 2005 07:46 am (UTC) - Expand
thedivinemrsm
Jan. 7th, 2005 05:36 am (UTC)
Hi
pardon the random (and very late) comment. i'm sure that it doesn't even apply to your situation anymore...but...i was wandering around lj and stumbled on your journal and your reference to this post.

i met my husband online. but we met on Dreammates.com. much more economical - you buy credits to communicate with people on there. they sell the credits in "package" type deals (3 credits, 5 credits, etc.). you spend one to initiate contact. or you contact them for free and they must spend one credit to reply to you. i think i spent like $5 for 5 credits. once communication is established (i.e. one of the two people has spent a credit) then all communication is free between the two. very cool.

even if i hadn't met my husband on there, i'd recommend the site. the profiles more or less "force" the user to prove that they have a brain, as you are required to write about yourself instead of pick out interests from a bunch of drop-down menus.

and that is my useless and random two cents. pass it on to someone who might be interested if you like. or, if you are still contemplating internet dating, you now have yet another recommendation to consider.
patrick
Jan. 7th, 2005 06:20 pm (UTC)
Re: Hi
It reminds me how the stranger's love lab works. credits for communitcation. It's a good idea.

Thanks for the input!
Re: Hi - (Anonymous) - Jan. 7th, 2005 10:21 pm (UTC) - Expand
jasend1
Jun. 19th, 2005 06:42 pm (UTC)
love3k scam (my experience)
I think my experience might help inform everyone... I had the same situation with love3k, a girl on match.com tells me to contact her through love3k. So I do. Then three days later my free trial expires and I get a message from another girl but I can't read it! So i'm stupid so I pay the $16 for one month. After one month of single paragraph conversations, I don't know any of the girls I talked to, and when my time expires I tell them, "hey, my account expires in 5 days so here's my yahoo e-mail address" they act like I'm asking them for anal sex or something!! "oh my god, a personal e-mail address???" Bottom line, I think love3k has people on their payroll sending e-mails. Which in my book counts as a scam, rip-off, scheme, or whatever you want to call it. But it sure isn't legiitimate. Good luck everyone.
(Anonymous)
Jul. 6th, 2005 03:47 pm (UTC)
Re: love3k scam (my experience)
I had the exact same experience. A cute girl off of Match.com wrote me and said she wanted to communicate off of Love3k. I immediately got suspicious when I noticed her user ID didn't have a number after her name and that all her photos look like they got taken with professional flash photography. I got one email, which I didn't answer, and when it expired I got another email. Not to be cynical, but I've been on enough dating sites to know that these girls usually don't reply back to me, let alone write out of the blue. This was even funnier, considering that my profile only listed my physical stats, had no picture, and I couldn't be bothered with even filling out any of the other questions, or essays. I just wanted to check out this girls other pictures. Besides, who the hell has heard of Love3k anyways? It's not like they advertise themselves enough to attract actual normal people to them.

Anyways, the best dating website I found so far has still got to be The Onion personals, which is actually part of a larger dating network that includes sites like Nerv.com and others. I tried match.com and has been disappointed with the pickin's, the girls on there usually aren't edgy enough for my taste. It also seems like the one site everybody joins when they're trying to meet people. I also hate how they try to match people up. I find that I usually don't have much in common with the people on that site. I also tried eharmony, which was a disaster. It costed too much and everyone on that site was really looking for their future spouse. Frankly, the women on there freaked me out. It later turned out that the place was also hidden as christian dating site, depending on which cookies were in your browser. I've also done craigslist. This is where you get the freaks of the freaks, or the creme de la creme depending on which perspective you decide to approach it I suppose. It's free, but that freaky factor also goes way up because it's free.

Anyways, internet dating blows. But it sure beats trying to sound interesting at a bar when you can actually care less.
Re: love3k scam (my experience) - (Anonymous) - Jul. 13th, 2005 04:37 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: love3k scam (my experience) - (Anonymous) - Jul. 21st, 2005 03:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
Re: love3k scam (my experience) - (Anonymous) - Jul. 21st, 2005 03:34 pm (UTC) - Expand
(Anonymous)
Jan. 1st, 2006 10:16 pm (UTC)
yup
i have just experienced the same thing beautiful girl nice add .she replied fast its definitely a scam
(Screened comment)
patrick
Jun. 3rd, 2006 01:18 am (UTC)
Re: Love3k.com scam lives on! But hopefully not for much longer!
Apparently, this last post here, which listed the domain name information of love3k.com, has been causing problems. It lists the name of the person who it's registered under, but more than one person has that name. I just got an email from someone who tells me that they are getting harrassed because of this, even though they live in a different state and have nothing to do with love3k.
( 40 comments — Leave a comment )

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